I am now living the life that I want.
For forty years, I let my insecurities and fears control my life.
Writing and owning my own business have been life-long dreams of mine. Beyond the emotional aspect, I had other reasons that made me push that dream aside. I had kids in childcare, my kids were under my health insurance, and my husband’s job as a union plumber came with unpredictable layoffs
When my husband got a stable job at a school district I no longer had any excuses. His new job paid well and they provided excellent health benefits for the entire family. Our girls were also now in school full-time, we had no debt, we could pay the mortgage on his salary and we had a fully-funded emergency fund. Losing an income would have an impact, but we were confident that we would be okay for at least 6 months to a year.
The first two weeks after I resigned felt weird. Usually, when I’m off work I am traveling or doing something with my kids. This time I was home. I had nowhere to go and no plans. It took me a few weeks to create some sort of rhythm.
About two months after I resigned someone asked me if I had regretted quitting my job. I quickly answered no. Then I smiled. I realized at that moment that it didn’t feel weird anymore. I wake up every day excited to work on my business. I had found my purpose.
The three things I feel often since I resigned are:
The feeling of freedom has no price. Even though I am working harder than ever I know that I can do whatever I want anytime I want. That is a feeling I can’t describe.
Prior to resigning I was always stressed out. Even when I was on vacation, I couldn’t fully relax because I knew that work was going to be there once I returned home. Mind you, I loved my job and my coworkers, but when you aren’t living an authentic life, you can’t be happy.
Ever since I was in high school I dreamt of writing and being self-employed. I was a very average writer (still am), but that never discouraged me. Putting my writing in public for the world to see was the scariest thought. I would be the most vulnerable I have ever been in my life. Writing is a very personal practice. Even if you are writing fiction, there is always some truth in your work.
But I had a decision to make. Stay at my job and continue to be miserable or take a leap of faith.
Eventually, I started the blog, took the financial coaching certification course, and most recently I became certified in life coaching.
Being vulnerable and doing what it takes to make my business succeed has given me the courage to do the same in all aspects of my life. There is only room for what makes me happy now and it gets easier every day. It feels good to be in the moment and laugh often and loud. I had lost that in the demands that working for someone else brings.
Knowing that facing my fears would lead to amazing outcomes in all aspects of my life, I just wish I would have been braver sooner. However, it wasn’t my time. At this point in my life, I have the knowledge, experience, and confidence that it takes to be successful in anything that I want to pursue. If I end up not being successful, I will still feel like a winner. I won’t regret having tried to do the things that I have dreamed of doing my whole life.
In your 40’s you have people depending on you financially and emotionally. It is not easy leaving a stable income, but I am here to say that it can be done. As stated earlier, you have a choice to make. Once you make your choice, make your plan.