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This was once a value to be passed on, but it is now outdated. 

When people are having nervous breakdowns and having to take medical leaves because of burnout we have a problem. 

When people are putting work before their well-being and that of their children and partners there is a problem. 

There is a saying that people will push you as far as you let them. This used to be reserved for school bullies and abusive partners, but now it has made its way into the workforce. 

Many have taken medical leaves or Covid leaves in the past two years, however, it is hard to fully relax when you know that you will be returning to the same environment in a few weeks/months. What’s the point?

There are still too many people promoting the work hard and hustle culture. Has anyone asked why?

Is it to make millionaires, and billionaires richer at the expense of their hard-working low paid workers?

If your goal is to get a raise, a promotion, and recognition you are taking the wrong approach.  

Other factors play roles, and they are rarely highlighted. Some have figured it out. Now that I am out of the workforce, I have figured it out too. 

How can you earn a living without missing out on living your life?

First, you need to stop focusing on the numbers thrown around in society. People get so focused on numbers that they lose sight of everything else. They think I must work harder if I want to have a million at retirement. Oh, and then you learn that 1 million is no longer enough because of inflation. Maybe 2 million will be enough. This creates the hustle and hard-working culture that is making everyone rely on caffeine and medication to get through the day. 

Those numbers are not reality. Each person’s situation is personal. You do need to have some savings going into retirement, but a million? What do you need all that money for? You technically should be living your life now. In retirement will you have the energy and stamina for a 15-day adventurous backpacking trip? 

Most people die with a lot of money in the bank. Your goal should be to die with zero. If you have children, they should be getting their inheritance while you are alive. All the lessons, classes, and coaching for activities that enhance their learning are investments. They should be contributing financially toward their future now by learning to save, spend and invest with money that they get for their birthdays and allowance. 

Once you die, they can sell your home and get more cash there or rent it out to earn passive income. 

So, what are you working so hard for?

You get recognition and job security by doing other things besides working hard.

1. Be political at work 

Humbly share what you have accomplished that has made your company better

2. Work smart

  Stop trying to be perfect; Focus on being good enough 

Don’t waste time over researching; 1-3 sources are plenty for small projects

Don’t respond to everything (a simple thumbs up that show you understand and received the message is fine)

3. Keep a short to-do list

  Don’t overwhelm yourself with long lists that will never be done in a day

Have 3 big tasks and 3 small tasks on your daily to-do list

4. Take breaks after every hour of focused work

  Do something for yourself every hour (take a walk, go outside, stretch for 10 minutes, do a quick YouTube video, start meal prepping, do house chores)

5. Be likable 

  Be present with people. Show them that they matter. 

Offer to help when someone is struggling and you not

The goal is to not let work be the front and center of your life. 

What matters to you? 

Make sure that your daily life reflects your values. 

Working hard is not the answer to a successful life. Being healthy and happy is. Focus on being happy and healthy and you will be successful.

Work environments are social experiments that cause more harm to certain individuals. 

My worst experiences at work were professional development days where the training was designed by an extrovert. There were for sure going to be skits and a lot of forced participation. 

When someone failed to participate they were called into the bosses office and reprimanded. They were told that they needed to be a team player. 

Eventually I began asking who was leading the training. I started using PTO depending on who was leading the training. The amount of energy it took to get through the training was not worth it for me. 

Of course in the early days, I blamed myself for everything I was feeling. I had no empathy or compassion for myself because I was uninformed. 

Once I learned more about myself, I realized that I was not only a result of what happened to me, but also of my internal biology. You can try to be more extroverted, but the truth is that you will always come back to your true nature.

We need to normalize accepting ourselves for who we are and asking for what we need. 

What can change in the workplace to accommodate trauma victims and introverts? I understand these two things are not the same, but they sometimes do require the same work accommodations. 

In a time like today, this is even more important. Work becomes an unsafe space when one feels that the environment caters to only one group vs. a mixed unique group of individuals. 

Steps must be taken to identify who is coming into the building and create a structure that feels safe for all. 

Here are some of ideas:

1. Meetings: The purpose of meetings is to provide important information that cannot be in an email. They should be short and to the point with opportunities for questions throughout. Sharing should be by choice. There are various ways that one can share. Introverts don’t mind sharing. They just don’t want to do it in front of a large group. 

Seating should be arranged in a way where those that have suffered from trauma feel comfortable. These individuals usually do not like people sitting behind them. They usually will go for a chair along the periphery of the seating. You will not catch them in the middle of anything unless they are surrounded by people that they feel very comfortable with.  

2. Staff Events: Events that include more than one’s immediate team should be optional with no punishment for not attending. Large events are triggering for some because of many reasons: room set-up, pressure to be “social” can make one say something they will regret or be fidgety and awkward. 

Zoom was the best thing to happen to introverts and trauma victims. 

3. Special Work Hours: Introverts especially work best in quiet environments. They can possibly be allowed to go in early or later than the majority of the agency. 

Trauma victims may prefer to be in the office when everyone else is to not feel alone. They also may want to be home by dark so they may want to beat traffic. 

4. Recognition: An individual should not have to walk up in front of a group to receive an award. They can be recognized without having to do anything that puts them front and center. Everyone loves to be recognized for their efforts. How can that be done in a way that does not make one want to hide under a chair. 

5. Remote opportunities: Individuals should be given the choice of a hybrid schedule. Going to the office is very draining for this group. It requires socialization in the bathroom, staff lounge, lunch and meetings. They get home exhausted and often need a day of recovery. 

6. Ice-breakers and group sharing: It is always awkward to be in a group and not even be able to focus on the discussion when you have been told that you will have to present your findings. There should be alternative ways of presenting. Where those that feel comfortable sharing to large groups can do so and others can do it in a way that is more comfortable to them. 

How much time does the group spend fighting over who will share with the large group instead of doing the actual assignment? 

A lot of great workers have resigned due to the inability of an organization to accommodate different personalities and acknowledging that most of their workers have suffered some sort of trauma. 

This needs to become the norm. There is no one size fits all.

Don’t focus on your credit. Focus on your finances in general.

The perspective in this piece is from my personal experience.

A high credit score has been beneficial when we purchased our two homes, rented for a year, purchased our vehicles from dealers, and refinanced our home. The process was easy in all these events. The first home was in my name only and it was an easy process. So, although I don’t like that some people get into debt because they associate good credit with carrying debt, it is beneficial. 

You don’t need to be in debt to have good credit. 

These are the habits I live by that have always had a positive impact on my credit score. 

Pay my bills on time

Have at least one credit card always open

Do not close credit cards often

Do not open credit cards often 

Keep balances low (less than 50% of credit allowed) and pay them off in full each month

Always have enough money in the bank for expenses to avoid overdraft fees

Do not co-sign for anyone or let anyone cosign for me 

Do not lend money. If I have it you can have it. 

The one thing that can ruin your credit fast is going into Collections and Bankruptcy. This happens when people let themselves go in terms of money. Spending more than you earn. Not paying bills and more. 

Sometimes life happens and the people that you are involved with do not have your best interests in mind. 

That happens often. The best thing to do is deal with the situation head-on. The worst thing to do is ignore it. Collectors will never go away. Bankruptcy stays on your credit report for at least 7 years maximum of ten. 

Look at all possible solutions before deciding to declare bankruptcy. Many companies are willing to work with you. You just have to take initiative and make the phone calls. 

With collectors, you can also negotiate. Tell them how much you have and see if they will take your payment and erase your bill. 

There is always a solution. 

The best way to approach life in any scenario is through prevention. 

When it comes to finances the best method of preventing a bad financial situation is to follow a budget. Have an emergency fund in a high-yield savings account. Have sinking funds for irregular yearly expenses also housed in a high-yield savings account. Invest consistently. Having these four things in place are sure methods of a good credit score. They will prevent you from getting into bad debt and ever having to deal with collectors. 

Don’t stress about your credit score. Focus on getting good with money.

Flex is the best lifestyle choice for all. 

It seems that everyone is on some sort of mission when it comes to money. Most of these missions require hardship in the form of working too much, working at jobs they hate, missing special occasions, feeling stressed out, and drinking a lot to cope with the demands of meeting your goals by a specific time.

Author, Annie Auerbach, defines flex as a manifesto for working and living on your terms.

The traditional way of doing things isn’t working for most anymore. People are spending too much time indoors. Our bodies ache because of all the sitting. To escape the rate race most have turned to pursue some sort of Financial Independence (FI). No matter which of the 5 FI’s you choose, you are sacrificing something to get there. Oftentimes it is your health. 

Here are the FI’s that people are striving for to achieve freedom. 

Lean FI

Being able to pay for all essentials should you lose your income, but not fund vacations and entertainment. Essentials include health care, home, food, utilities, and transportation.

Fat FI

This approach takes the longest to achieve because you are trying to live a grander lifestyle than what you are currently living once you stop working. You want more in retirement. 

Barista FI

Originated by the idea that one can qualify for health care benefits by working part-time at Starbucks. This FI is for those who don’t have enough to completely retire but want to stop working at their stressful job full-time. They have a good amount saved and invested to not feel the pressure to make a certain amount of money. However, they still need to work.

Coast FI 

One has to invest early and often so that by the time they reach a certain age they can stop investing and let it grow via compound interest. 

Regular FI

Having the income streams and funds to sustain one’s lifestyle should one decide to stop working. Enough money to not have to give anything up or ever work again. This is what a lot of people are pursuing. 

Of these 5, my two favorites are Barista FI and Coast FI. I believe that to stay healthy, you need to work. We need to keep building our brain muscles for life. Use it or lose it. 

Living to a certain age is not guaranteed. How many times do we hear that people wait until retirement to do what they wanted to do and then die suddenly? Or they get sick and are limited in their abilities. That is my biggest worry with pursuing FI. How much energy are you sacrificing on reaching FI that you put everything else on the backburner? 

Let’s go back to Flex. 

Focusing on flex allows you to focus on the life that you and your family want now.

When I look back at my own life, I believe that my husband and I have lived a flex life. We had 9-5’s for a long time, he still does because he loves his job. Even when we worked these jobs. We only accepted jobs that aligned with our values: our children, our relationship, and time. We always got out early which gave us the afternoon to spend time together and have our children enrolled in extracurricular activities. We also had the flexibility to take time off often to volunteer at our kid’s school and attend school events for them as well. 

He will continue working at his job until he is eligible to receive his full pension from the school district. That is his flex. He is looking forward to that. That will also include full medical insurance for both of us for life. 

I decided that I wanted a flexible life following the pandemic. I had unfulfilled career dreams. We reached a point where we no longer had to pay for childcare. I had been saving in my 401k for over 10 years, so I had a good cushion. We also had a fully-funded emergency fund in place and a bit of extra savings for home repairs. Most importantly we had no debt, and our cars were in good condition. 

Flex includes work, but you’re working on what you want. It can be a high-stress job, but it doesn’t feel like work if it is something that you enjoy. Flex is being in control of your time. It also is having time to do the other things that you love. Flex is working the job that best suits your personal needs, whether that is completely independent or something that involves interacting with others.

The goal with Flex is to not worry about your retirement number. How much do you need to save to retire? That doesn’t matter in a flex lifestyle because you will be working a job that you never want to quit. Your lifestyle will allow you to take breaks when needed and come back when you feel refreshed. You can keep designing your job to meet your lifestyle preferences as you age, but you keep working because it gives you a purpose and you have the flexibility to do anything you want to do so there is no reason to quit. 

Stop focusing on numbers. Live a well-balanced life. Save. Travel. Work. Invest in yourself, your home, and your relationships. 

If you do all of this consistently you will live well at any age.

Resource

The 5 Types of Financial Independence

This is a tool available to all social classes, but only the rich seem to take advantage and play the game. 

Those that still use cash and debit cards to pay for goods are missing out on tax-free rewards like cash that would positively impact their financial situation. 

I’m not encouraging people to go and apply to the first offer they see. Those usually are the worst. Riddled with high interest and no rewards except for the free t-shirt or koozie.  

When people have had bad experiences with credit cards, they may not want to ever have one again. Perhaps they cosigned for someone that got into debt and didn’t pay it off, so the debt fell on them. Maybe they thought it would be good to buy furniture and do home upgrades using a credit card. Now they are paying a mortgage and high credit card bills every month leaving them stressed out instead of enjoying their home. 

We all have made some financial mistake or another. The key is to learn from it and focus on being better. It is no different with credit cards. If someone has had bad, high-interest debt in the past it doesn’t mean that they cannot become responsible credit card users as they transition to being good with money.

Using credit cards responsibly

1. Less is more. Carry only 1 or two cards. One major card to charge most items on and carry another card to a place that you shop at a lot like a grocery store or clothing store to get specific rewards to that store.
2. Pay your card off monthly. Not paying off your card monthly defeats the purpose of getting rewards. It does not balance out. You end up losing. 
3. Do not open credit cards if you currently have high-interest debt. Pay off your debt first. Once you pay off your debt, follow a budget for a few months while staying out of debt. Take note of what you spend most of your money on. Find a credit card that will meet your spending needs best. For example, if you spend a lot of money on groceries then find a card that gives back rewards for groceries.
4. Don’t let fees scare you. The rewards outweigh the costs.  

Why I love credit cards

Rewards are tax-free. You can cash out rewards without worrying about being taxed on income at tax time. There have been attempts to pass laws that would tax one on rewards they receive from credit cards, but so far that has not happened. Take advantage of tax-free rewards before that changes. 

Cash-out to invest. You can cash out rewards and invest in your Roth IRA or save up to invest in other assets.

Use cash rewards for fun experiences that you otherwise may not be able to afford like plane tickets, restaurant meals, and gift cards. Think of it as a sinking fund for fun and giving. 

Don’t start off wrong

Reward cards usually have a promotion to get you to sign with them. It comes in the form of thousands of points, which in some cases is equivalent to over $500. To earn those points, you must spend a certain amount of money within a short amount of time. Do not overspend just to meet initial spending requirements. 

The amount is not a lot unless you are single. Then it may seem a bit daunting. However, I know single people that have been able to meet the spending requirement by asking family and friends if they could pay for large expenses they had coming up. They would pay for the purchase and then would be reimbursed promptly.

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Stop using cash and debit cards to fund your life. They are keeping you poor. Only use cash and debit cards if you find that you are unable to pay off your credit cards monthly and if you have bad debt. Learn to spend less than you earn before trying to use credit cards again. 

Do it the right way. It’s worth it.

*Resources

How credit card companies reward the rich and punish the rest of us

https://www.yahoo.com/video/credit-card-rich-person-100115664.html

Five tips to start your journey toward feeling good about money. 

People who say that they are not good with money usually have some of the same things going on. They have debt. They live paycheck to paycheck. They don’t have any savings. They are pretty much depressed about their situation and carry feelings of shame and guilt. They prefer to not look at their bank and credit card statements. They are numb. 

What can be done? To be good with money you have to be ready for a life change. You must get rid of the habits that make you feel bad about your finances and adopt new ones that will take you where you want to be. 

Bottom line. Take charge of your life and your finances. No more feeling sorry for yourself. 

By adopting healthy money habits, you are saying yes to more money, less stress and anxiety, and higher life satisfaction. 

There are many things you can do to improve your financial well-being. Let’s start with five. 

1. Only carry debt if other people are paying for it

Consumer debt is the dream killer. It takes a long time to pay off and you end up resenting what you purchased. Debt is one of the greatest causes of stress in households along with work. If you had no debt, you could quit the job you hate while you look for another one. 

By carrying debt that other people are paying for we are talking about Assets. Real Estate Rentals. Motor home rentals. House Hacking. Not all debt is bad. 

2.          Have a fully funded emergency fund

Do you want to feel free? Your emergency fund’s purpose is to bring you peace. 

Knowing that you have this cushion makes you feel braver in life. You take more risks knowing that if you fail you have something to fall back on for a few months.

3.          Pay yourself first

Invest in yourself. Take the class. Buy the book. Hire the coach.  Designate a number that you will invest monthly or yearly. Allocate this money every month or at the beginning of the year. If you are waiting to invest in something specific then put this money in a High Yield Savings account. 

After you pay yourself first, focus on your other expenses. If you feel that you are coming up short after you pay yourself, then look over your expenses and see if all your spending aligns with your values. If you can’t or don’t want to make cuts, focus on increasing your income. Some ways you can do this are by using credit cards that give cash back, getting a higher paying job, being more strategic with your taxes, or having another source of income. 

4.          Have a system in place for how you track your spending, income and investments

for your household. 

Every home needs multiple systems. Systems for keeping it clean and organized and systems to pay bills on time each month. 

In addition to these there needs to be a system in place where you feel in control of your money. That can be by creating a monthly budget, having quarterly money check-ins with your spouse, always having money goals with action steps.

5.          Talk about money like if you’re talking about what you did over the weekend. 

Let’s make money a less taboo subject. Talk about it at home. Talk about it with people whose financial situation you admire. Share your financial dilemma’s and ask for guidance toward getting to a better place from a coach or someone you trust.

You have so much to learn by engaging in money conversations. You can also learn by being in a group with people who have similar interests when it comes to money. 

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It’s not easy to change our ways. We have been conditioned by our parents, our environment, and experiences to feel and think a certain way about money. It will take time (about 3 months) to develop new habits if we stick with it. You owe yourself that.